Journey to Self-Awareness

Tiffany Rayside family line 27, 2012 Dr. Lynne DeCicco, Eng. 112 Journey to Self-Awareness The term, coming of age signifies a growth in a persons identity. It is a confusing phase in which one is on the cusp of adulthood and will experience frigid moments that will shape character and lead to some sort of self-realization. Such moments may result in a liberation of purity, the destruction of hopes and dreams, the sense of imprisonment, and perhaps lessons erudite. deuce literary works that illustrate such concepts are Amy Tans Two Kinds and throng Joyces Araby. Both pieces are narrated by the master(prenominal) characters, as adults, reflecting upon and portraying a better understanding of their childhood experiences. Although the affairs and out fetchs recounted in each take issue greatly, Two Kinds and Araby embody the foolishness commonly dis contend during adolescence, as well the maturity and insight the characters gain as the stories evolve. In Joyces Araby, the un- n umberd main character is a thirteen year old male child brio in a depressed society, worn-down and devoured by drunken men and bargaining women(Joyce 92).The son brightens his days marveling over his best friend Mangans sister. The boys obsession becomes eerily clear as his unremarkable ritual is revealed When she came out on the doorstep my pump leaped. I ran into the hall, seized my books and followed her. I kept her brown haoma always in my eye and, when we came near the point in which our ways diverged, I quickened my pace and passed her. This happened aurora new-fangledr on morning. I had never spoken to her, except for a few casual words, and yet her name was like a summons to all my foolish blood. Her image accompanied me dismantle in places the some hostile to romance (92). Rayside More often than non, the first step of the coming of age process is the loss of innocence, which is most commonly a result of disappointment. As the first true interaction occurs bet ween the boy and Mangans sister, the preface for disappointment is shaped. The boy finds himself in the position to impress his fantasy girl when she asks if he will be attending the bazaar at Araby. Upon conveying her longing to attend the splendid event, the junior lad seizes the moment and offers to bring her a present from the bazaar, a silent gesture of his love for her.The following(a) days proved tedious as he is consumed with his trip to Araby. Finally, the sacred day arrives and, although he matte up he took every precaution to ensure his success, his trip is delayed due to his uncles late take home. The narrator realizes that his uncle has forgotten his plans due to intoxication, I comprehend him talking to himself and heard the hallstand rocking when it had received the weight of his overcoat. I could interpret these signs (Joyce, P93). The reader is immediately presented with the boys awareness of the harsh realities in his world and the desperation that follows.Th e boy is of the age where one begins to acknowledge, but non quite understand, adult behavior. Likewise, Amy Tan explores the loss of innocence as an aftermath of childhood disappointment in Two Kinds. Tan portrays herself as a young, first-generation AmericanChinese girl, try with the seemingly unrealistic expectations of her mother. Amy, who, in the story is referred to by her Chinese name, Ni-Kan, is on a quest, imposed upon her by her mother, to discover her talent so she may become a child prodigy, comparable to Shirley Temple.After countless talent tests given to her by her mother, Ni-Kan begins to accept the nonion that she may not have a distinct talent, that she may never be a prodigy But sometimes the prodigy in me became impatient (Tan 384). With this disclosure came a sense of failure and 2 Rayside disappointment in herself, in contrast to the narration of Araby. Ni-Kan confesses And after seeing my mothers disappointed face once again, something inside of me began to die (Tan 384). This admission results in a change in out project that marks the beginning of Ni-Kans transition into adulthood, a self-realization.Her fair belief in her mothers prodigy theories and eagerness to achieve such perfection has come to a halt. In this moment, Ni-Kan decides to be the person she now believes she was meant to be, and not the obedient prodigy her mother and everyone else pass judgment her to be, however it is clear to the reader that she has not yet attained the maturity to make such resolutions. The trip finished the characters development continues as Joyce and Tan introduce the destruction of childhood dreams. As a child, one tends to believe that anything is possible because he or she is blind to possible hindrances.When obstacles present themselves, a person may suffer a disheartening loss of faith or hope, which ultimately chips forward at the belief that ones dreams will come true. Joyce delivered an unspoiled example of this evolution throu gh the narration of Araby, which is consumed with daydreams about a romantic quest to purchase the gift for Mangans sister (Fargnoli and Gillespie 2). disillusion struck upon the boys late arrival to the Bazaar, finding the exhibit nearly empty and the attendants not interested in his patronage.In that instance, the boy appreciates that his romantic fantasy was not worth all of his troubles, which indicates a large emotional growth of the character. Fargnoli and Gillespie also note and Arabys tawdry wares unacceptable for the portentous mission that he has under taken (2), further conceding to the discontent the boy felt as he identifies the items available for purchase substandard and unsuitable for his purpose. 3 Rayside Disparate to the boy in Araby, the character in Tans Two Kinds served as the catalyst that led to the ruin of her dreams through her resistance to learning how to play the piano.When the time came for her to complete at the record, she began to believe that s he was going to play well, despite her lack of practicing. She childishly imagined the reaction of her family and audience, It was as if I knew, without a doubt, that the prodigy side of me really did exist (Tan 388). Tan went on to describe how she, envisioned plenty jumping to their feet and Ed Sullivan rushing up to introduce me to everyone on TV (388). Ni-Kan was admittedly surprised when she heard herself playing all of the wrong notes, and shamed of the embarrassment her parents must have felt as she played so poorly.While the boy in Araby was disillusioned by forces beyond his control, Ni-Kans experience could have been avoided had she taken her lessons seriously. Also dissimilar to Araby, Tan explores the issues on a deeper level by relating NiKans reaction to her recital to that of her mother. Ni-Kan s childhood dream of pleasing her mother by finding her inner prodigy would not come to fruition on that day, but the true destruction was that of her mothers dream for her f ille to be a success But my mothers expression was what devastated me a quiet, blank look that said she had lost everything.I felt the same way, and it seemed as if everybody were now coming up, like gawkers at the mount of an accident, to see what parts were actually missing (Tan 389). It is clear that Ni-Kans mother was terribly embarrassed and discomfited by the ordeal, especially since she boasted about her gifted daughter to the other parents regularly, posing the idea that the mother learned a valuable lesson on that day. 4 Rayside Moreover, a sense of imprisonment, bitterness, and irritation is felt by the characters in Araby and Two Kinds. The presence of captivity is tremendous in Joyces depiction of the world surrounding the boy as he speaks of the mood in the house and the unpleasantness in the air which, in itself, spawns a touch modality of hopelessness. However, these feelings are not internalized until later in the story, when the reader is presented with the gro undwork for disaster As he was in the hall I could not go into the front parlour and lie at the window. I left hand the house in bad humour and walked slowly towards the school.The air was pitilessly raw and already my heart misgave me (Joyce 93). The boy already senses his upcoming failure, and that sense is only heightened by a feeling of entrapment once he returns home that evening to find his uncle has not yet arrived, I sat staring at the time for some time and, when its ticking began to irritate me, I left the room (93). The growing torture the boy is experiencing is clearly indicated as he recalls having to endure unbearable gossip which only seems to make the wait even longer, I had to endure the gossip at the tea-table.The meal was prolonged beyond an hour and still my uncle did not come (93). Once the uncle does arrive home, the boy barely greets him and immediately asks for money to go to the Bazaar, refusing to smile when the uncle refers to how late in the evening it was, which points out his antipathy towards the delay in his plans. The boys showing of gall is mild, yet resounding. Alternatively, Ni-Kans caging and animosity in Two Kinds are exhibited as bold outcries.While her surroundings pop out to have frequently pleasantries than the boys in Araby, Ni-Kan is held captive by the traditions and expectations of her mother and heritage, and her torment is sheer throughout I hated the tests, the raised hopes and failed expectations (Tan 384). It is at this point when Ni-Kan makes the decision to be her own caseful of prodigy, one that 5 Rayside was angry and powerful (384), with thoughts filled with lots of wonts. I wont let her change me, I promised myself. I wont be what Im not (384).Clearly, Ni-Kan was going to do everything in her power to end her mothers quest for perfection, to put a stop to her foolish pride (387), but soon finds that her mothers determination was stronger than she imagined and her bitterness and resentment turns t o pure anger and vengefulness Then I call I werent your daughter. I wish you werent my mother (389). Ni-Kan, encouraged, by her mothers growing anger, only becomes more verbal and condemnable And thats when I remembered the babies she had lost in China, the ones we never talked about. Then I wish Id never been born I wish I were dead like them (390).Ni-Kans animosity towards turn a prodigy blinded her from the reality of the pain she caused her mother It was as if I said the incantation words, Alakazam (390). In Ni-Kans child eyes, she won the battle of wills, but has yet to recognize all that was lost due to her harsh testimonials. Undoubtedly, the characters Araby and Two Kinds learned important sprightliness lessons, however varied in acceptance. It appears that the boy in Araby learned his lessons immediately after his trials. He quickly understands that he, alone, idealized his world, and reality could be bestial and hard to bear if unprepared.It is palpable that from thi s day forth, he will see things from a much more pragmatic perspective and will be better prepared to manage the pitfalls. While Joyce implies that the boy at present surrenders and accepts this lesson as a part of life, Tans character does not acknowledge her life lessons until much later, as an adult. Ni-Kan continues her stubborn rebellion throughout her adolescent years and it isnt until the passing of her mother that she at long last realizes the underlying truth of her mothers constant pursuit of 6 Rayside perfection.It took Ni-Kan more than half of her life to concede that her mother truly saw a prodigy, and she alone stood in the way of her own success. In a nutshell, Araby and Two Kinds highlight how important the seemingly insignificant events that occur during adolescence are to the development of oneself. James Joyce and Amy Tan explore the changes in perspective gained as each protagonist matures into a more novice adult. Innocence is lost and displeasures of reality become evident early in life. It is the time when one comprehends that he or she faces substantial pain and emptiness in the future.The irony is that the coming of age never ends quite a little continue to grow up far beyond the stage of adulthood. 7 Rayside Works Cited Joyce, James, Araby (91-95). Abacarian, Richard and Marvin Klotz. Eds. Liturature The Human Experience. Shorter 9th ed. capital of Massachusetts Bedford. 2007. Print. Tan, Amy, Two Kinds (383 391) Abacarian, Richard and Marvin Klotz. Eds. Liturature The Human Experience. Shorter 9th ed. Boston Bedford. 2007. Print. Fargnoli, A. Nicholas and Michael Patrick Gillespie Araby. Critical Companion to James Joyce A Literary Reference to His brio and Work, Critical Companion. New York Facts On File, Inc. , 2006. 8